Allow me to tell you what influence alcoholism has had on our marriage!
I was watching Dr Phil's show one day when he said that your chances of saving your marriage to your alcoholic husband is ZERO percent. I remember thinking he was kidding, and I waited for the punchline.
It never came.
In fact, he continued to give his reasons as to why a marriage to an alcoholic have no chances of success, and as I listened, I felt the blood drain from my face.
You see, I'm married to an alcoholic, and at the time we were married for only a month or so. Newly-weds, still blissful in our love for each other, and now this man, who is considered an expert by his peers, and respected the world over, tells me that my marriage has a zero percent chance of success. According to him Alcoholism and Marriage just didn't go together!
I was devastated.
It was not like I didn't know my husband was an alcoholic when I married him, I knew. As a matter of fact, we went through a number of his "rebounds" or "drinking spells" before we got married. I suppose I knew pretty well what I was getting myself into. In fact, I promised him before we got married, that I will never leave him on account of his drinking. I promised him that I will support him, and help him, and stand by him, and always be loyal.
But I didn't really know. Nothing could prepare me for the troubles our marriage had to overcome.
It was just the beginning of our journey, and it WAS a difficult one. On this website you will learn what happened to us, how I dealt with my husband's alcoholism, where we are today, and what we are doing to keep our sanity in this very insane situation. Being married to an alcoholic is probably going to be one of your biggest challenges ever. It will take all your strength, loads of support and all the information, tips, strategies and courage you can muster to deal with it.
- I will show you how to heal yourself first. Your husband will not sober up if you do not get better yourself.
- I will show you alternative treatment options for your husband's disease, because just like shoes, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this horrible sickness.
- I will teach you how to deal with relatives and friends, telling you to "throw that bum out".
- I will help you to reduce the impact of your alcoholic's behavior on your family and your children, how to protect yourself, and how to stand up to him.
- I will lead you to heal your marriage, improve your sex life, and re-awaken that special feeling of love between you.
- Most of all I will attempt to help you to find your spiritual center, because that is what will get you through all of this.
I'm going to tell you my story, to share my advice, tips and tricks with you. I'm taking the time to share this with you for two reasons. Firstly, because it acts as a healing process for me. Secondly, because I also felt, just like you are probably feeling right now, that others just don't understand. The therapist, the priest/pastor, your friends, family...
I hope that by browsing this site, that you will come to understand this disease, but more importantly, your role in it and how to heal yourself.
I'm on this journey with you. I'm still healing myself, and my husband is still an alcoholic. At least I have realized now that that will never change. We will have to continue working on our marriage, his disease, his healing, our healing and the healing of my family.
There is no cure for alcoholism, but there is hope. Please take the time to gather some hope and inspiration from this website, and start your own journey to healing.
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